I was utterly exhausted when these photos were taken, so bear in mind that.. well, actually, they’re perfectly representative of how i looked walking around Flame Con.
I spoke to at least four people who assumed i was cosplaying a character they didn’t know, rather than this just being how i felt like dressing for the day. I guess i need to create a character who looks like this?
❤️
Hi there. My name is Nadia. I’m a neurodiverse transgender woman of color living The Netherlands.
I was assigned male at birth, but for most of my life, especially since I started puberty I’ve been suffering from crippling dysphoria regarding my gender. Along with my ADHD, this led to me developing chronic depression, anxiety and agoraphobia in my late teens and young adulthood. Eventually I couldn’t take it any more and realized that the only way I could ever be truly happy is to transition and start living as my most authentic self.
I’ve lived in this body for 31 years, of which only the last 3 I’ve been on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). This, along with things like permanent laser facial hair removal has gone a long way towards helping me look and feel like the woman I know I am. But there’s only so much that hormones can do. It can’t fix the parts of my body that cause me the most dysphoria. Only surgery can change those.
When I first started transition, I didnt want to rush into any surgeries. After all, they’re scary, permanent, invasive and very expensive. I was hoping HRT alone would be enough. But over the past 3 years the pain I feel regarding these specific aspects of my body has been constant and persistent regardless of how much self love I try to practice. It’s not something that’s just going to go away on its own.
Deciding on getting these procedures isn’t a decision I made lightly. It came after years of deliberation and trying everything else I could think of to make this feeling go away.
Over the past 9 months especially, my mental health has gone down the drain. A lot of the time I’m too scared to go outside by myself, because how transphobic society can be to someone like me. My loved ones, family members, and partners have noticed how much worse I’ve gotten. I’ve been feeling hopeless, gross and most of all stuck. Like I’m unable to move forward in any way.
Just like my decision to come out and transition, the decision to get rid of my facial hair using laser hair removal, the decision to go on HRT, having these surgeries really is the best option. It’s the next step I need to take in my transition.
Please consider donating if you’re able to. It would mean the world to me and you’d be helping me out in a big way. If you’re unable to donate please share the link as much as possible.
Thank you. ❤
Wow! Thanks to everyone’s generous donations, I’m already 20% of the way there! You’re all incredible, and I’m so thankful for everyone’s support.
It’s my hope that people keep sharing this page as much as possible to hopefully keep donations coming in and getting me all the way to my donation goal.
Again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and generosity. ❤️❤️❤️
Journey of my face so far on HRT!
Top Row: First Night -> 1 Month
Middle Row: 1.5 Months -> 2 Month
Bottom Pic: Me Today (2 months and 4 days)
if you were born after may 23rd, 2000, you are younger than this tshirt i got as an 18 year old at my first nin concert.
just. just saying.
The fact that Luna is a Ravenclaw and Hermione is a Gryffindor is super important to me.
Like Hermione could easily have been a Ravenclaw if we just went by her passion for knowing things. But simply knowing things isn’t all intelligence is. Intelligence doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how “book smart” someone is. You have to be willing to look outside the box and use what you know in a useful way. That’s the creative, wise, open-minded aspect of Ravenclaw that seems to get overlooked.
And the one thing that I think got in Hermione’s way was her fear of failure. A fear of being wrong. And being wrong is part of the learning experience and it’s not something that I feel a Ravenclaw would be afraid of but instead they’d expect it and welcome whatever revelations came from it. A Gryffindor can’t afford to be wrong because if they are going to do something brave and daring then failure could have terrible consequences.
Luna on the other hand is someone who might not be very good academically at all. We don’t know for sure. But her way of looking at the world is so unique and seemingly impossible. She’s creative and open to new ideas and accepting of other people’s differences which is the ideal attitude to have for learning. When she answered the question to get into Ravenclaw tower, the knocker did not say she was right or wrong, rather it said “well reasoned” which suggests that maybe there doesn’t have to be one definite correct answer because HOW she came to her conclusion is what mattered. How often do you think her professors gave her correct marks on essays and things because she wasn’t “technically” wrong? How would they have made it to the Department of Mysteries in OOTP if she hadn’t suggested they fly on Thestrals when half of the group couldn’t even see them? Her ability to see what others couldn’t is how they solved that particular problem and that’s part of what Ravenclaw is all about.
Ravenclaws don’t necessarily do something simply because it’s logical, but they use logic to do something better than everyone else. That’s the difference between Hermione and Luna to me.
youlooksocuteinpajamas 