Hi there. My name is Nadia. I’m a neurodiverse transgender woman of color living The Netherlands.
I was assigned male at birth, but for most of my life, especially since I started puberty I’ve been suffering from crippling dysphoria regarding my gender. Along with my ADHD, this led to me developing chronic depression, anxiety and agoraphobia in my late teens and young adulthood. Eventually I couldn’t take it any more and realized that the only way I could ever be truly happy is to transition and start living as my most authentic self.
I’ve lived in this body for 31 years, of which only the last 3 I’ve been on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). This, along with things like permanent laser facial hair removal has gone a long way towards helping me look and feel like the woman I know I am. But there’s only so much that hormones can do. It can’t fix the parts of my body that cause me the most dysphoria. Only surgery can change those.
When I first started transition, I didnt want to rush into any surgeries. After all, they’re scary, permanent, invasive and very expensive. I was hoping HRT alone would be enough. But over the past 3 years the pain I feel regarding these specific aspects of my body has been constant and persistent regardless of how much self love I try to practice. It’s not something that’s just going to go away on its own.
Deciding on getting these procedures isn’t a decision I made lightly. It came after years of deliberation and trying everything else I could think of to make this feeling go away.
Over the past 9 months especially, my mental health has gone down the drain. A lot of the time I’m too scared to go outside by myself, because how transphobic society can be to someone like me. My loved ones, family members, and partners have noticed how much worse I’ve gotten. I’ve been feeling hopeless, gross and most of all stuck. Like I’m unable to move forward in any way.
Just like my decision to come out and transition, the decision to get rid of my facial hair using laser hair removal, the decision to go on HRT, having these surgeries really is the best option. It’s the next step I need to take in my transition.
Please consider donating if you’re able to. It would mean the world to me and you’d be helping me out in a big way. If you’re unable to donate please share the link as much as possible.
Thank you. ❤
Wow! Thanks to everyone’s generous donations, I’m already 20% of the way there! You’re all incredible, and I’m so thankful for everyone’s support.
It’s my hope that people keep sharing this page as much as possible to hopefully keep donations coming in and getting me all the way to my donation goal.
Again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and generosity. ❤️❤️❤️