emilyiannielli:

To a female it’s no big deal passing a mirror as they admire their beauty but for a transgender girl who hated being male I never took satisfaction in looking at myself in the mirror. The only times I looked in the mirror as a guy was when I cross dressed, brushed my teeth, or had to be fitted for a man’s suit for proper measurements. I did not particularly enjoy looking into the mirror as a guy. I really had no reason to. When I came to understand my situation and talked to therapists and doctors and suffered through family tragedies and losing friends I realized after 48 years of hiding my truth as a 3 year old boy wanting to wear dresses 👗 that in my mind, heart and soul I was meant to be a girl. Now I’m 5 years into my transition from male to female so if you do the math that I knew I felt like a girl at age 3 and it took me 48 years to come out and I’m almost 5 years into my transition and am 56 years old that I came out as male to female transgender at age 51. I started female hormones at age 50 and feel so feminine and happy and finally comfortable with myself wearing beautiful dresses and now I take such joy in looking into the mirror that I want to capture it with my camera even in the ladies room. Now I am a selfie transgender girl who can’t get enough looking into mirrors and capturing the moment. I’m glad that I don’t have to take the pictures with those old fashioned Polaroid self developing cameras. Now everything is digital and with social media I can share my pictures and my life story as a transgender woman who struggled with shyness, mental illness and gender dysphoria basically all my life and now I’m living the dream as a transgender woman who loves being a social butterfly and telling my story with my posts. I sincerely think I’m just an ordinary person who sadly suffered through tragedy in my family losing my mom at age 50 in 1990 to mental illness and my dad at age 73 to mental illness and alcohol addiction which ultimately led to his suicide by jumping into the path of a speeding train in 2009. Through a lot of soul searching and lots of therapy and psychiatric hospital admissions I’ve been able to pull it together as a transgender woman (at AMC Loews)